Letter from the North

A brief update Tue 20-Mar-2018

I am some three weeks behind with these blogs. I have plenty of notes but have been struggling to put them together. It started with the picture above which is me leaving the Peter Lanyon exhibition that we went to in London earlier this month. What you may not be able to tell from this pic, is that I am in tears and Teresa is comforting me. In itself that is a long story which will hopefully come out in the real blog when I get it finished.

This is just to say, yes I am still alive, I have been going through a VERY down period and have been struggling to work or do anything. All connected with my current cancer drug not working, my consultant not feeling the need to include me in treatment plans and in general feeling that my battle with this cancer may be short rather than long.

On Saturday (after being given permission at the fracture clinic), I drove for the first time in 4 months (Teresa riding shotgun), and collected some food from Sainsbury’s. Subsequently I did some cooking and in general my mood has (somewhat) turned the corner. However, I was at the doctor’s three times last week,  the next scan is in a week and the next clinic is in two, so that cloud is never far away.

This is harder than I can explain in words and I find writing an immense challenge, but I will hopefully find some way of expressing the last few weeks and release a blog for it.

The Bean, Pendeen, Tue 20-Mar-2018


  • Shelagh Sneddon

    So sorry to read this, Hope things improve.

  • Kate Mole

    Sorry to hear all this, Bean. Hope you find comfort – from your family and friends I’m sure, from writing, maybe, and from unexpected places too! Lots of us are thinking of you. x

  • Kate Mole

    PS. Have you seen this? Is it any use?

    CRUK’s cancer helpline is available from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday, on 0808 800 4040; a dedicated information section on the CRUK website, About Cancer, also provides clear information about cancer and a cancer clinical trial database – so no question you have about cancer goes unanswered

    • Bean

      Thanks Kate, yes I know it’s there, but I am a member of a group that specialises in Renal Cell Cancer http://www.kcsn.org.uk, and they have all the renal cancer trials and advice on drugs and side effects.

      They also run a private Facebook group dedicated to this cancer and are very careful to keep it private to those of us with the cancer and/or our loved ones/carers. It is a fantastic community but one I hope that none of you will ever get to meet!

      We have been talking to them about my situation and they have been very helpful to us in working out what to do next. I am NOT on my own in terms of support (and neither is Teresa), I am just alone in that it’s me that has this bloody cancer and in the end has to walk it’s road alone 🙂


      • Kate Mole

        Dear Bean,
        Yes, I see. I’m glad you’ve both got access to this sort of help. About the aloneness – yes, I know. I had that feeling too. I suppose everyone does when they’ve received the diagnosis. Very bad.

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